1 Syawal

Heart felt so blessed:

It just a start for a new month, month of victory after a fight with our lust in so many ways.
When i'm writing this, i am in a mosque near by to my house. Sayu rasa hati mndgr takbir raya mendayu2. How i miss arwah wan tht always nagging me as one of most stubborn grandchild. But i know we always love each other.

This syawal also happens to be my 2nd year i stop my heart of loving a person yg bergelar lelaki. It does hurts but i'm grateful enough i still be surrounded by my loves one..my family, my cats, my dear gfs yg jauh diperantauan, my dear bfs yg tak putus2 buat diri ini tersenyum. Mungkin betul apa kata pepatah, 'mencintai xsemestinya memiliki'....
In two weeks time, i have to determine my new phase of a relationship with someone who dear to my heart because of his sincerity but i will never give specific answer till my heart ready for the new love... Patient is a virtue rite. If itu memang jodoh kita, i will be with you in any circumstances.

To my dear Akif,
selamat bertugas di langit biru..doesn't matter where you are right now..raya tetap di hati kan... I tau u akan baca this.Pesanan pihak penaja, sila jg diri.xmo noty sgt..i report seantero dunia krg. Huhu
To my dear Akasha,
can't wait for you to coming home...bau tanah Malaysia semula..;p
To my dear Shaz,
you know by urself your sis always missing you..you kan Mr.Meow2 i...so jgn lari mana2 k..see you soon. Owh sila expertkn diri with your new toy. ;)
To my dear Ady,
i harap sgt you selamat sampai ke Perlis just to feel meaningful raya with you dad after for 4 years. Doa i sentiasa dengan you my dear..i miss the old you but i do understand what kind of mess you handling now. Harapan i agar you tabah...moga syawal ini akan bukakan hati you & murah rezekinya..

Ok peeps, takbir raya dh stop. Will be solat sunat Aidilfitri... To be continue..;)

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Satu Doa

Heart soothing with good words :

Allah yang Maha Pemurah.. terima kasih Engkau telah menciptakan dia dan mempertemukan ku dengannya.

Terima kasih untuk saat-saat yang indah yang boleh kami nikmati bersama,

Terima kasih untuk setiap pertemuan yang boleh kami lalui bersama,

Terima kasih untuk setiap saat-saat yang lalu,

Aku datang bersujud di hadapan-Mu,

Sucikan hatiku Ya Allah, sehingga dapat melaksanakan kehendak dan rencana-Mu dalam hidupku.

 
Ya Allah, jika aku bukan pemilik tulang rusuknya,

Janganlah biarkan aku merindukan kehadirannya,

Janganlah biarkan aku melabuhkan hatiku di hatinya,

Kikislah pesonanya dari pelupuk mataku dan usirlah dia dari relung hatiku,

Gantikan damba kerinduan dan cinta yang bersemayam di dada ini dengan kasih dari dan pada-Mu yang tulus dan murni.

Tolonglah agar aku dapat mengasihinya sebagai sahabat.

Tetapi jika Kau ciptakan dia untukku, Ya Allah..

Tolonglah satukan hati kami,

Bantulah aku untuk mencintai, mengerti dan menerimanya seutuhnya,

Berikanku kesabaran, ketekunan dan kesungguhan untuk memenangi hatinya.

Urapilah dia agar dia juga mencintai, mengerti dan mahu menerimaku dengan segala kelebihan dan kekuranganku sebagaimana aku telah Engkau ciptakan.

Yakinkanlah dia bahawa aku sungguh-sungguh mencintai dan rela membagi suka dan dukaku dengannya.

Ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih, dengarlah doaku ini.

Lepaskanlah aku dari keraguan ini menurut kasih dan kehendak-Mu

Allah yang Maha Kekal, aku tahu Engkau sentiasa memberikan yang terbaik buatku.

Luka dan keraguan yang aku alami pasti ada hikmahnya.

Pergumulan ini mengajar aku untuk hidup makin dekat pada-Mu, untuk lebih peka terhadap suara-Mu yang membimbing aku menuju terang-Mu.

Ajarlah aku untuk tetap setia dan sabar menanti tibanya waktu yang telah Engkau tentukan.

Jadilah kehendak-Mu dan bukan kehendakku yang jadi dalam setiap bagian hidupku, Ya Allah..

Amin..

I came across this doa' while blogwalking to some of the good writers (blogger of course)..Reading it, its almost put a tear on my puppy eyes... it's so touch and so true. How it's suppose to reflects me back.


And I saw this wordings in tumblr, make me wanna share with you peeps who are so loyal reading my lil piece of notions... 

"Suddenly I somehow know that my life did not need to be this way and that GOD had something better for me. I felt him gently whisper these words to my soul: 'You continue to get your heart broken because you are holding the pen of your life and trying to write your own story. I am the Author of love. I am the Creator of romance. I know your heart's every desire. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must give the pen to me. You must let ME become the center of your existence. You must let ME have total control of your love life, and every other area of your life as well..."  

Nice words ha...it's up to you how tolerate it with your pure lil heart.


Till then.

Happy Birthday Darling GG

This entry dedicated to Miss GG :

Yeay...being the most earliest bird..chip2...wishing you last nite with all the merepekness...n you laughed..tuh penting.. You know I'm always gonna be here all day long...tadah telinga, tadah tangan, tadah bahu, tadah muka for you dear...;P (len macam je bunyi nye..ahh lantak...lesbo yaww..ahahah)
I have a song for you..instead I tulis cliche ucapan bak terima trofi OSCAR..here you are.. siap lirik...;P..psttt song dia I sent kat im k...heheheh~

Sempat merasa sedih
Karena sering dikibuli
Pernah jadinya malu
Karena dicibir mulu

Bukannya ku tak mengelak
Kata-kata yang kasar
Bukannya ku tak peduli
Semua caci dan maki

Senyuman ku tak akan
Pernah luntur lagi
Singing all day long
Semangat ku tak akan
Pernah patah lagi

Dancing all night long
Dancing all night long

Tak ada lagi pedih
Ada kamu di hati
Hidup cuma sekali
Marilah kita happy

Awalnya ku tak menganggap
Kata tersenyum darimu
Akhirnya ku bahagia
Menari kita bersama

Senyuman ku tak akan
Pernah luntur lagi
Singing all day long
(Singing all day long)
Semangat ku tak akan
Pernah patah lagi

Dancing all night long
Dancing all night long
Dancing all night long
Dancing all night long
Dancing all night long

Tak peduli ku dibuli
Omongan lu gue beli
Cacian lu gue cuci
Dengan senyuman prestasi

Tak pernah ku malu
Karena cibiranmu
Ku jadikan motivasi untuk maju
No more mellow say no to galau
No more to say no to hear

Let's dance together all night long
Let's dance together all night long
Let's dance together all night long
Let's dance together all night long

Senyuman ku tak akan
Pernah luntur lagi
Singing all day long
Semangat ku tak akan
Pernah patah lagi
Dancing all night long

Senyuman ku tak akan
Pernah luntur lagi
Singing all day long
Semangat ku tak akan
Pernah patah lagi
Coz you bless me up

Sekian ^_^

Kejujuran Itu Seperti Eskrim

Heart feel blessed :

Kejujuran itu seperti es krim
kalau tidak dilahap bakalan cepat meleleh
hilang ditelan hawa panas

bisep ditangan itukan otot fisik
nah kejujuran itu otot mental
dan otot harus dilatih terus biar kuat

untuk hari ini latihan kejujuran ku
jujur pada diri sendiri
aku takut…
takut kalo intuisiku mengenai banyak hal selama ini salah
aku takut…
takut kaloku bangun besok
matahari ga muncul ditimur
atau gimana kalo ku bangun besok
dan aku baru tahu kalao kalau hati bisa salah…

(*Nih puisi sering sekali ku dengar dari BBku saat ini , saat kejujuranku mulai dipertanyakan dan malah mungkin diragukan..
Sent by : Si Pilot yang ngaku mafia HK yang kachak ..~droolll~ ;P
Narrated by Rachel Maryam - Kejujuran (Puisi)

You can listen the narrated mp3 from my tumblr.. 

Kejujuran itu seperti eskrim

Yes, I admitted last night I was a bit merepek...but when got this from my dearest soul protector :

Hehehe
Tula
Jahat budak ni
Meh nak gi sekeh mamat tu
Berani dia buat u camtu
Hehehe

Make nothing else matter as I do have a bunch of angels keeping me by their side....

Ungrateful Thought

Heart start to scrumble :

If you really wanna do that, go ahead. I'd throw all my hard words in Twitter not in FB or this blog.
But i really pissed off at this point of time. How ungrateful you are. Asking around for people to understand you, but do you think people around you 'tunggul kayu' with no hearts and feelings? You are so mean if you can think little like that.

Funny how he thinks...but somehow, rather than you keep whining and crying... It's better you do something right..Effort by efforts without giving up. How hard it can be, think with your little head there far more worst people who facing hardship life.

You were talking about religion how you have faith in Allah but how you show it? Sekadar Friday prayer that you went for once a week? I'm not good though but I know where my stand in this things.

People says. ..doesn't matter you don't have great education, but if you have great mind, great heart..nothing really matters... But you didn't prove anything. All your plans I've been hearing...what?? Ketuk tin kosong je ke? Too bad...we already provided what it takes to help you yet you seems take it for granted. Great! Action speaks louder than words my dear Mr. You-know-everything.

It's really break my hearts my hopes to see you rise up again. But you can't see that at all. Owh...Almost forgot that I can't project my emotion to you.

I really hope you keep sane and do not fall to the root of the earth. I can save a heart with my love, but not a soul who lost in his own fantasy.

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Iftar With Him

Heart feel :

It’s been a while I’m avoiding going for Iftar…actually its nothing pun…just I prefer to berbuka with my parents and pegi terawikh with them. By coincidence as for last 2 days, telah diisytiharkan ‘cuti Am’…makanya I made a plan to berbuka with him (sebenarnya dah dpt ayat drama last Saturday lagi…huhu~)

Seeing him after two week I guess…he became more tanned and broader shoulder..ntah apa la dia buat. Dia ckp dia berjemur mcm mat salleh tu..:)  Like I’m gonna believe that. Nvm..

Actually, we still in quarrel but masing2 kan ego…and acting like so cool as nothing happen..yeah we damn good in that. Huh~

But donno why, I was like a bit daring with him yesterday..We argued of all things…. Eventually I’m not like that but…ntah..don’t feel like keeping the silence. ..agak nyaris rise up the temper…I’m just playing the game..yes I won! He burst 1^st… what the issue?..i think I’ll disclose later la eh…  Intention of him was sharing the story with me without ever think what I’m gonna feel…well I never be that important for him to concern so much… “you takleh pk emosi  you je, cuba la paam keadaaan I skrg”…I am such angel if I can stay put with this for a long time I guess. I can’t have an emotion am I ? Hebat tul hati I ni…Hemm….Whatever la dear. 

Towards to the end, while sending me home..he did said thanks…thanks for feeding him so well..Kenyang sangat.. J ….That was the reason I wanna go out with you dear. He haven’t been eating rice the day he came back from somewhere..  How could it possibly be I can become so heartless to him?......

Seeing him singing, dancing in the car ….i can only smile and laughed with him. I know he really not well…Rest well k dear..dah mkn kenyang2…now you can sleep like a baby..:) 

We loving like a lover, we fight like a married people, we argue like a bestfriend, we protecting like a sibling….

Well, till we meet again dear. Now I kena pujuk someone yg majuk sbb xangkat call while being with you….

Cliche Monday...

Brain playing some words:

I guess it not a real good Monday for some people surrounding me…cliché..Monday blues…

I having a pretty crappy morning,

But then you said Hi….

One was calling me with cheerful tone...

And another one sharing nice ‘Kejujuran’ words from far..

I think that will make my day good enough…

Tahajud Cinta

Heart deeply feel :

After confession by confession since last night, my heart firming of what I want.... Hearing all that, it does make me smile yet 'it is love or just a lust?' I guess you know this better.

Kau datang ketika duka
dan bintang bercahya
tunjukku ke jalan syurga

Ku haus di tengah laut
lemas mencari tempat berpaut
kirimkan aku kekuatan
serta pedoman di kesesatan

Ku sunyi dalam gembira
perih pedih tanggung derita
sungguh aku bukan wali
yang suci dari hina dan benci

Terlalu lama aku mencuba
terlalu banyak
cinta yang ku damba
tiada yang sempurna
hanyalah fana
Tuhan, ampuni hamba-Mu

Kau datang ketika duka
dan bintang bercahya
tunjukku ke jalan syurga

Ku rebah di dada malam
memecah dendam yang lama diam
ku tanggalkan baju dunia
dakapku dengan selimut syurga
ya Tuhanku hanya padamu
tempat mengadu segala rindu
limpahi ku rahmat kasihmu
dalam tahajjud cinta bersujud

I just can't stop smiling because of something... I think it's likely I remain the scene to myself. Thanks... Yes you..;)

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I'm A Mummy..;P...

Heart already bonded :

Dramatic je kisahnye...eheheh~
Yes I am a "Mummy" now...secara officially nye...;)
Jap2..what you guys been thinking of? Mummy to these la.....tgk bwh!

Gambara Hiasan semata..;P

These are not the real them, just pic hiasan...as for the real...okey it needs time for me to snap it...Sorry my lil kiddos ni ala2 artis skit...tau la cantik...asal my cam out from the 'icebox'...dia posing2 nth pape...huhu~ Later I'll update details about them k...Skarang malas....cubaan mencari kerja walaupun takde case langsung ni...Time to jd ADUN!

Have a great Tuesday peeps! Yes esok cuti...;P 

Coming Back For Good!! ^_*

Heart happily typing :

Another reason to be happy..Yeayy En.Batman saya will be coming back to MALAYSIA for good. At last!! Finally, he got what he want. If not I will be hearing how homesick he was while staying there back in Colombia. (But I guess he did had 3 years great time there too.. right Kasha?) Emo all the time..listening to sad songs lagi emo..lagi2 "Sedetik Lebih" ..Adoi..ahahah~ But it's ok, your Miss Robin always here tadah mata tadah telinga to hear all your sigh and whining...huhuhu~

 

Will be back soon enough...like 2 weeks to go..eh am I counting the days? Owh no...ahahah~ Raya dulu okeh..;P En.Batman 2nd based will be in Labuan...even we still have to naik 'belon' to be there yet it still within Malaysia region..Weee...leh gi Sipadan...Opss....hey need to take the scuba license first babe..heheheh~ Owh...finally we can complete 'Buku Kita' and main masak2.....;P

6 Easy Way To Earn

Brain tickling and heart smiling: 

What you guys been thinking reading the entry title yaww?Ahahah~ It's not MLM, some business plan or something. It was something that I came across the status of my lil bro Iylia (tokey kedai KEREPEK...ha sila tekan sini... kedaikerepeklah.com )

Oppss..iklan sekejap...
Ok2..the real matters here is it :

Six easy ways to earn even after death.
1) Give a copy of Qur'an to someone. Each time one reads from it, u gain.
2) Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it, u gain.
3) Participate in building a Masjid.
4) Place water cooler in a public place.
5) Plant a tree. U gain whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it.
6)And the easiest of all, Sharing this message with people. Even if 1 applies any of the above, u gain insyaALLAH ♥

p/s : Which is true right...simple and easy way..;))..Happy Friday peeps! Hugs....

Just Fight It!

Heart breathing this words :

It’s been a while I’d been separated from you…How badly I miss you but I kept holding back …just to give some space for you to breath, to look forward, to learn surfacing the darkness by your own. I’ve already given what it takes..it’s time for me to take one step behind to let you move by your own. It is hurting me seeing you being alone confront all this….but my dear …my doa’ never stop for you.. never even once. In everything I do, only you I was thinking about. 

Just keep strong, broader your mind, think of Alllah…you do have all the things to start all over again. You don’t have to this for me. Do it for yourself, for your lil kids…they need you more than anything. I tau semua impian you…I clearly remembered every single words of your dreams. …  Tuhan tak menguji sebegini keras jika dia tak sayangkan you. HE did know your strength, your capability to face this once again. ..keep sane…

U did sang this song to me on the last day we met.. I can just smile infront of you but it was rain in my heart. .. If I can write it in words what I feel….but I just can’t…

Terawih Dalam Senyum

Heart touched :

Hari ke-7 for terawih.. selalunya memang akan super mengantuk. Mungkin sebab siang harinye bekerja, then balik ptg ..buka puasa terus gi masjid for Isya' and Terawih. Huuu..agak menduga ketetapan iman dan ketahanan mata betul..;P Padahal makan bukan banyak mana pun...Ish2...

Tapi hari ni,  terawih sambil tersenyum....sebab kehadiran seorg gadis kecil solat skali kat sblah... The mum and ada other siblings ada je kat blakang me and my mum..tapi this lil kid yg siap pakai telekung duduk je kat tepi..My mum ajak dia solat kat sbelah..I guess that kid umur 3 4 tahun kot..Comel je..

Dari solat Isya' ke solat terawih...she just kept looking at me and tiru how mcm mana org solat..sgt la comel..mmg hilang rasa ngantuk as I kept on smiling seeing that...Tengok gelagat dia rasa mcm nk record je..heheh~Opss..tak kusyuk plk...;P How beautiful Allah creations who willing to learn in such young age..... Till now i'm still smiling because of that.

Ok la..it's getting late..jap gi nk bangun sahur lagi... Selamat Berpuasa peeps!! ;))

Just A Kiss....Ironinye...;)

Heart singing along :

The ironi of this song was related to someone dear to my hard heart..ehehe~ Maybe for the time being.
I know you've put all the efforts to win it somehow.. Go on trying dear...Let see who's win this game of heart..;)) The fight will be really tight. I just really wish its gonna be easy for you. Good luck!! ^_o

Forteen?

Brain wondering :

It's been last weekend I came across this name...mana nth nmpk..FB kot..someone posted this song. Owh actually its a group - some sort like another boy band. After listening to the song, typically we can guess the song wrote by who..;P
Just enjoy it . Couldn't  find the full version as it is still in the making.

Pagi Tapi Jadi Petang Updatenye...;P

Hand typing  :

Update2 di pagi hari…pagi sgt dah petang pun..(draft diabaikan as kebzan sbntar);p 3^rd day of Ramadhan yaw…Ye Akif!! Hari2 you kacau Subuh I kan…huhu~ Slamat berterbangan today…

To my dear Kasha, bertahan!! Ahaha~ Puasa di perantauan mmg mnduga kesabaran dan keimanan..tp saya teman awak thru WhatsApp k..Ngee~ Dah balik cpt..raya kat sini..Dam dam dum bunyi mercun! ;D

It’s been few days full with assumptions and misinterpretations and bnda xdisangka2....Waduh bikin pusing2 dong…huhu~ Tapi ignore saje tuh lebih bhgia…heheh~ ( tapi kalau takde angin, pokok takkan bergoyang kan…emmm…mode:confuse)

1.       Nape org pandang pelik2 ni…rasanya cam hari2 je la ngadap muka ni ha…takde beza pun apatah lagi bertukar menjadi seekor alien…Owh blum lg. While assisting the same exact user, yeah makanya mendapat la saya soklan cepumas! Yg rs mmg nk gelak guling2 je…Beriya tanya…OK since when I  masuk kelas modeling ni? Murni Empayar…(pembaca berita tv9 punye)…plus they saw me did a Catwalk for an event…What??? Datang mana plk info ni? Lagi denied, lagi dpt statement begini ‘ takyah cover2 dah la Enny, serius it was YOU’…ha sukati korg la.. Ntah agak2 zaman bila I terjebak with those things kan…huhu~

2.       Treat as a friend tp diklasifikan lain dlm hati masing2….camne tu? MASALAH Negara tul…Sometimes I just not interested but I responded as being polite.. Tu je…Sukati la janji xmemudaratkan kesihatan ye kanak2…hik3…

3.       Weee…got something from Datuk Aishah…who ever knows her will know how’s the character was..;P she did said that she bought something small for me from Jakarta ( sbb when look at I it teringat i) while she went there for a golf games. I was like…ha? Then hari ni I got the things..terperanjat sat sbb  I was on the fon with someone, she was standing beside searching for something from her bag… Pheww…    You ingt apa? It’s a brooch la …huhuh~ As she always looking at what I wear…this is just a part of it…;P How IMPACT ha! Eheheh~ Okey pasni kena tayang kt dia…ngeee..~ esok la Datuk.. ;P

Ini la dia...tenkiu Datuk! ;P