Heart said :
Its almost end of Ramadhan and it become the hardest month for me as in emotional condition. Not being myself and being very pale made some people having some curiosity what is happening in me. Nothing much actually, just getting through a phase for me to grow up in so may ways, in so many aspects.
L.O.V.E ..yes it is a very sacred word for everyone who ever feels it. But by loving too much make us a bit blind and end up hurting our own little heart so much without realizing it. We almost going to loose track if we do not hold to the main “niat”.
And yet, I almost loosing it. My bad of having a wrong idea of all issues. I can’t breath, I barely can think or feels, I almost forget how to SMILE sincerely..I tends to neglect about everything. I thought I’m strong but it just by words. I’ve drown with my own emptiness.
But before I’m fully drown..THE ALMIGHTY been hearing my tears by spreading out HIS “LOVE” through some people who i can called them as “the angels of my souls”. I know they are worrying sick of me but yet never failed to hold me, keep me by their side and giving me strength to get through this. “ARE U OK?” ..sounds like a very simple question , when it came from them ..i know they CARE. And it make me smile.
There is a dedicated post by a good friend for me. Reading it make me wanna cry but the actually feels, I’m elated to have these kind of friends in my life.
Its raining right now, make me feel so ease and having a deeper thinking of everything. Now I can see things crystal clear and I think I’ve already have the answer of my “kekusutan”.
I believed there is a “hikmah” out of all this. An advice been given to me to make me have the faith on my own future. “ Segala ujian yang kita rasakan sekarang hanya secebis rasa yang Tuhan turunkan tuk menguji keimanan hamba-NYA. Bila kita diuji, itu bermakna Tuhan masih sygkan kita..dan kemanisan ujian itu hanya akan dirasai bila kita hadapi dengan redha..ALLAH still with you and LOVE you Enny…can’t you see how HE showed it by existing of few strangers who now become perfectly a bunch of good friends who going to be with you even in the hardest time.”
Only word of THANKS I can say it for now and THANKS to the ALMIGHTY of giving me another chance to grow up to face this beautiful world.
