Tears Dropping Without Hesitation......

Heart aching of the memories:

It is a routine I guess; I will just slight seeing my newsfeed in my FB what is happening surrounding people in my friendlist. And I read this from Rina Salleh mentioning of someone that I think most of Muslim fashionista outside there knew this girl..Ami.. I’ll shared you the link what it’s all about..

Click here dear for more…'Relapsed'

To be honest, I never adore her or knowing her personally but by her story I know she is a fighter. Fighting for a life…”soal hidup & mati”. Acute Myeloid Leukemia words as in her dictionary of life right now. Sad story indeed and bring me back down to memory lane that is so hurtful…

After a while I’ve forgetting this….now it’s like a cassette been rewinded. I can understand what this girl is going through as I been with someone whom like her until his last breath…T_T  OMG..Now I  really miss him. I lost him out of my own stupidity by holding my heart back even yet he loving me to death. I lost my own soulmate…right  infront of my eyes. How I can afford to hold this? Please wipe away my tears….

There was a story behind this that I’ll just keep to myself. He is my strength, my magical touch, my passion, my truly friend who never afraid to voice up what he want and he is my lil heart. Without him I’m just nothing ..no one… When I’m so down, memories of him comfort me in his own way, How I keep on missing him and it is killing me.. How I wish I can just throw all this memories..Now my nose is bleeding…damn it! Pleasssssseeeeee… I beg you…. But….

I can’t erase you cause it’s in pen

Awak, you never know what I’ve been through all this time. You just see me as what you see and what you believe. But do ever care to know me the other side? Sekarang saya rasa nk nages all my heart out but I can’t tell you anything. My tears right now would not stop. It is rain in my heart as it is raining heavily outside there while I’m writing this.

Satu persatu telah kuhapus
Cerita lalu di antara engkau dan aku
Dua hati ini pernah percaya
Seribu mimpi tanpa ragu tanpa curiga

Ku tak ingin lagi
Menunggu, menanti
Harapan tuk hidupkan cinta yang telah mati
Ku tak ingin cuba
Hanya tuk kecewa (Ku telah kecewa)
Lelah ku bersenyum lelah ku bersandiwara
Aku ingin pergi
Dan berganti hati
Satu persatu telah kuhapus
Nada dan lagu yang dulu kucipta untukmu
Rasa yang dulu pernah ada
Kini berdebu terbelenggu dusta dan noda

Kini ku sedari diri ini
Ingin berganti hati
Cinta yang tlah pergi
Harus berganti hati
Harus ku ganti hatiku kini
Ini harus ku ganti
Tak perlu ini lagi harus berganti…

Al-Fatihah  my dearest Fareez… I wish I can forget you one day….

Just Listen......

Brain dictating :

Sometimes, all you need to do is listen without defending and speak without offending.

Congratulation Sis Osheen!! ^_^

Heart delighted to see this :

Osh!!! Comel...hehehe~ After quite sometimes she shared with me her 'niat' of wearing hijab and today its the OFFICIAL date she finally wear it. Alhamdullilah!! I'm so grateful and elated to see this happening even for the couple of days ago I was not in good condition in sense of controlling my emotions.. yet something good always there right..;)

Tada!! My lil sis..

nice sis...;))

Fake It & Assumption!

Heart feel not so right this morning :

And YES I HATE THIS.....

People don't get the message behind this. People could be soo upset and you would never know because their hiding behind a smile..

You and your assumption. Sometimes I'm just to tired of this...yeah typically people will say this " ala mulut org, susah nk tutup..hati orang susah kita nk jangka"...but please dear, knowing me better than the other people you should not jump into something that you unsure and end up you feel uncomfortable out of nothing. To be true for quite sometimes, my heart been LOCKED by a piece of diamond that you can only can cut off by special tools...I had enough, I feel enough....

I only love you as my dearest friend...as I put in the hierarchy YOU as my bestest friend even I can't share everything with you as what I shared with my two GFs. 

Do you know sometimes I really wanna share it with you?...that friends for right ..sharing the stories, hiccups, sadness, loneliness, happiness, joy moments... but after 2nd times you attempt this, I have to think like 1000x to spill my thoughts, my feels....And when you did that, it's actually hurting me in silence.....So at the end I'll remains silence for a while for the best of us. How hurtful of doing this...but hope it helps..

I Am Bored to Boredom

Heart beats :

Unplanned Outing

Heart delighted for the day :

Note : Segala tatabahasa di dlm entry ini tdk boleh digunakan dlm peperiksaan ye adik2...this is what we called as the rojakness of mother tongue language.

Plan nk jumpa dekat2 sila jgn plan...sebab nanti jadi 'janji plastik'...ahahah~

From having my breakfast at Delifrance in Mid (sempat ada bagi org tuh terseksa which is yg sebuk ajak turun Paris hari2 France...I sent him a pic of Eifel Tower..ha awak...saya dah sampai..mana awak ni kata 10 jam dr tmpt awak..;P) shops with Abah...Came back homie then out again..;D

Sebenarnya dah tahap cipan nyer malas..but sebelum my dear friend bertukar menjadi Incredible Hulk sambil jerit "ENNNYYY...MISS U!"   sweet je Incredible Hulk saya kan....better be out...huhu... Pavi we go! Eat is a MUST thing...sbb kalau lapar mmg akan shops ntah apa2 brg je...so this will be precautions yg akan tak berapa nk berjaya jugak la kan..;P


Mission ON Mode....
1. Shoes & Birthday present for her dad...
    Kisahnye masuk C&K just wanna find a pair of shoes but end up with a bag...Huh I'm not involve in this ...she sendiri yg terpesona with the bag..;P  Ooopssy...Tapi another mission succesful jugak la tuh pun jenuh cr the shops till need to see the maps...What?? In Pavi? Yeah kanak2...kalau nk cr kedai cepat sikit..sila tgk map..jgn bodoh sombong..alamatnye tawaf la tmpt tuh 7 kali leh complete tawaf saie'..;P

She tried to racun me with the bag..but I sgt kebal not to buy it..weee

2.  Then we lepaking waiting for someone...dah la hujan..hayoo..how he gonna come from the Starhill Gallery..Sian...tapi comel...akhirnya he came with the payung some more...and of course he smells ssoooo damn good..Dear GF, jgn sampai2 mimpi dia as you sembur perfume he wear at your wrist okey...hikhik...

He is my blue star...;D

Them are so manja2 together...but its ok..u know and I know..;P

3. Time to go back...but.....kita minum dulu !!!...lokasi seterusnyer KL Sentral.. Well as we are pengguna public transport tegar..so memang KL Sentral became as the center units for every transportation. Hey menyahut seruan kerajaan okeh..KURANG PENCEMARAN... kan kan kan...;P
Swiss Oven as a choice to lepak...another date nih mmg random as for us its always plan that unplanned.. Erkk?? By coincidence, he been working on SUNDAY...repeat Sunday!! Well sang auditor memang macam tu..And office dia sebelah je KL Sentral leh jalan kaki.. then there he is! Finally..pheww...sorry la dear you have to meet me in such way plus keep on kena teased by my dear GF..;P But I know you have fun...even jual mahal taknk minum kan..yeah bloated with your fancy lunch...nth makan ke apa tuh....huhuhu~

whos' he? Mesti la BF...ahaha~ the FACTS only certain people knows.;P

Ok2...dah balik...Maghrib dah ni....tapi sampai lambat gak...SALAH DIA!! But my day end with.....urghh stomach ache..tak suka....!! Its not for going to ladies...but senak!! Sakit la awak....Hermm I made you worried kan...Sorrryyyyy...Dah la jauh...I know its sucks that you can't be here...Takpe I try to hold it...Macam2 awak pesan....tapi saya tak boleh buat....but it sgt sweet to see how you really concern....Bleh? sakit pun leh senyum2 baca msg awak..Heeee~ It's not helping but having u virtually help me much dah... Last2 I just felt asleep after talking to you....tenkiu awak...;))

That's why this entry been edited so many times as I was asleep for only 4 hours...Goshh...Now pening dah..but it's OK! ;D

We Think..

Heart feels :

You can sit here and complain about your life, but most of us know that none of us really have it that hard at all, yet for some reason we all tend to compare our lives wit those who we think have it better, and that's the biggest mistake we all make. Don't ruin what you currently blessed with by wishing for something that you don't have.

I Want to Draw Again...^_^

My left brain shouting for this :

Blame Deviantart! Hehe..Okay nothing bad actually. It just my brain crawling back to memory lane as once upon a time I used to sketch something. But now?? My skills gone I think..but I believe once we made it, its actually run inside us even for how long we forgetting it. Well maybe I need to wake it up again...;)) Then kisahnya..my papers will full with this.;P
 

One of the sketching I found in Deviantart which trigger my right brain to find herself again

Well, perhaps I'll start it again....Wait for my piece yeah...Jangan ku lukis org jd org lidi dah...;P ( Hey I can draw okeyh..) ;P

Happy Earth Day!!

Brain stalking and remembered today's date :

As I Know Your Are LOYAL..

Brain manipulating it :

I think it can be vice versa...;) Chill up 'bestiest'! I know and I understand...that's why you can said you keeping me..heeee~ (Bikin gundah gulana 47 second dia tau..ish.....;P )

Trapped!

Heart just feel suffocated :

" I will not say much...as what I feel, what I see, what I hear..I couldn't be bother. I'm trapped at a cross point, one of which I have no idea which direction I should choose. Will my mind overpower my heart or my heart had enough passion to take the risk and face the things I've wanted to do? 

Sometimes I just feel like the Black Hole..."

Touch The Feel...

Heart say :

  It's funny, you know? Because people keep searching for it, they panic, they look everywhere. They have these long philosophical conversations about life and love and what it all means.
  And I...I just want to tell them to stop, to look.
Because that deep blue, summer drenched sky? And the way the afternoon light has a way of making everything glow? Or the touch of your best friend's hand on your shoulder?
   That's it. That's where the answer is.

When I'm down there they are be by my side..;)

It is a Gift or Curse?

Heart said :

Well say...so be grateful dear...as not everyone be born with such or had that touch..(more note for self)...

Pagi Isnin Yang Comel!

Heart said :

Let it shine dear! I know its Monday....;)) Started with rain..yet when I arrived at the office, colleagues called me 'PELANGI' as I am colourful today...;P...if you want some rainbow of course you need some rain and my shining sun rite! And here I am as your personal 'Pelangi'...
Plus Whatsapp yg sgt comel early in the morning made my day...yes body u HOT dear..gosh...ahahah~ ( Enny, what are you trying to say? Oppps...rahsia alam sejagat...sshushh..heeee)
And owh yea AWAK! Please don't go missing again... Risau like hell okeh...adui... Robin can't find you right now sbb awak sgt jauh...

Single? ;P Who? ME?

Brain say with proud :

Take You to RIO!

Heart moved by the movie :

You should see this movie!! Thanks to my dearest another 'A' who keep asking me to watch this and guess what it make me wanna dance or even so craving of visiting Rio De Janeiro one fine day!Heee...besar cita2 ha...heheh~

"Rio" is a 3-D animation feature from the makers of the "Ice Age" films. Set in the magnificent city of Rio de Janeiro and the lush rainforest of Brazil, the comedy-adventure centers on Blu, a rare macaw who thinks he is the last of his kind. When Blu discovers there's another — and that she's a she — he leaves the comforts of his cage in small town Minnesota and heads to Rio. But it's far from love at first sight between the domesticated and flight-challenged Blu and the fiercely independent, high-flying female, Jewel. Unexpectedly thrown together, they embark on an adventure of a lifetime, where they learn about friendship, love, courage, and being open to life's many wonders. "Rio" brings together a menagerie of vivid characters, a heart-warming story, colorful backdrops, energizing Latin and contemporary music, and family-friendly song and dance.

p/s: I'd already downloaded the whole soundtrack of this piece...cool! Make me wanna SAMBA!! ;P

Self Travelogue - JB

Brain insanity want to say :

JB = Johor Bahru...heheh~ macam la org taktau kan.;P Yes, I was away the last 2 days..12- 13 April 2011...secara spontannya..as no one knows my plan..tau2 nk pegi..tau2 dah sampai sana...sorry dearest peeps..But I'm back safe and sound right ;)

My tempat lepaks..ehehe..

Kita breakfast dulu!;D

Kinda cool reception..;)

At night...weeee

Why I was there?Heee ..just let me keep the main reason yeah..
Later peeps...nanti i sambung citer..gtg...semata sebab nk update jugak kan...heheheh ;P

MEN??

Brain agak weng tuk mengatakan ini :

Awak!! All this are your fault! Yes you are...sape suh saket? Dengan2 saya kat sini saket pastuh sume2 weng gara2 DRUGGSSS...okey2 rephrase..UBAT!! tuan2 dan puan2 sekalian...

Heheh..no offense dear...;P Salahkan UBAT!Not me..;P

All Taste...

Heart bling2 to say it out :

 

I got this from one of my cool 'A' saying this :

Sometimes I don't need and angel, a devil who could understand would be good enough

But then again if GOD were about to give me an angel I would be glad

I'm glad you are here okey

I will keep you forever tau

How I'm so happy right now as my precious 'A's are always around me...Nothing else I can ask for more.. Can I have this forever?

Toys VS Techie!

Brainy wanna share :

Tada!

When Abah start to play around with the TOYS...nth pape gadget je dia beli...but when he bought it ..the lil daughter have to figure out it first! Ok FINE! Now I have to buy the wireless keyboard and the mousy... Super COOL! Magic ..an IPad can transform to portable PC...wait for it okes...;P

Ahaha..maafkan la pic di atas...as I'm always become the 'model without gaji' when comes of experimenting....Who want this?? Yeahh..I know lots of people craving for those DSLR...ha gi menuntut with my Abah..hikhik~ ;P Owh the standing thingy is one and only in Malaysia..not yet arrive here yet in Malaysia for the rest.. How techie is my Abah kan...( I sendiri pun taktau some more want to claim diri sendiri IT girl kan...ahahahah~)

Fix Everything I Could...

Heart says :

This start with TSUNAMI! AGAIN?? OwhMyGawsh (pinjam iklan pe nth eja camtuh..;p)          

Ok2 it just a METAFORA peeps…to describe most of the things happening around me this lately…if I can say every single things..down!No-no I can’t be..

Bombard with crazy lil things…yeah this is WORK! Menopause ke apa Boss sorg tuh? Till demam2 my dear GF and lil sis. With hectic cases need to be done..Please don’t let me missed out something…breach LSA, kena bebel lagi and get super lovely email.Huh… ada ku kisah? ;P We do works here cuma tak dikurniakan 10 otak and 10 tangan nk capai sume….Well nevermind….my patient and passion towards my works still at the tahap super saiya kuasa gaban still. So be it!

Enough of works thingy…Sampai bila pun tak habes kan.

But something really created a SMILE on me when my dearest ‘angels’ look forward to express their truly emotions to me…Even sangat EMO till fall sick…lembik penangan dek maternity sickness, or just because you are HOMESICK..drown with workloads...Yet I saw the different side of you..Cute! Plus buat I senyum sorg2 as it is kinda sweet and I would say…EMO YANG SANGAT GEDIK!  Hehe~ I would never left you alone ..Yes I’ll be you Robin, your Night Watcher..anything you want me to be….as you always being some people that precious to me….

Complexity of Emotion...

Heart shout out :

Desperately...Y_Y

Brain can't think :

I need Coffee break desperately..dah makan ngantuk! Makan heavy lagi..padan muka!...Awak jum gi minum ptg..( ahahah..nnt I dapat statement "You mmg super MD of SD kan)..;P

Soon to Fly Again! ;D

Brain ticking the time and heart jumpy2 :

Yup2...already confirmed! Even months to come but it's okey....got adequate time for saving up...Yeayyyy...

Plus thinking of visiting HIM to...not enough with BBM, we Whatapps, FB, Twitter now gonna start Skyping...duh~ Tuh la duk jejauh lagi...Missing you that cannot go okeh...ahahah~ ;P He was so 'Yeayy' when I was just saying to come to see him even taktau nth bila2 kan ;P...makan accommodation all settle..so what you waiting for?...Hehehe... Ingat cam nk gi Penang ke...sok2 je I leh terbang ke sn...haish...soon k dear...

I want to travel you... WORLD!

 When about time, I'll post where I'll be going...not now k peeps...bagi mukadimah je ni...ahahaha ..;P

See ya!

Wall of Fame @ PCBB...

Brain gedikness wanna show this:

This were some of the pictures that had been taken by the official photog of the event. Thanks Cik GG for sending this pictures to me...weee...kegaraan kitaorg rasmi dulu the Wall of Fame before sume guests muncul..hikhik~ Yeah mari kita berfotogedik...we photogenic okeh (perasan2...maafkan la kami2 ni..;P)

The most earliest pic..ehehe

Okeh,,mmg sedikit mesra alam Datuk2 ni..;P

The gurls team...guys...mn nth tercampak pic dorg ..;P

My most precious girls..;D

How I Forget This?

Heart out of nowhere feel something missing :

How I miss to be missing in my own world.... How I miss I used to be in this world before...

Scream!!!!

Brain want to share with you :

To my dear GF tersyg..as reading your BBM...i post this for you...

Hahaha` nnt we teman you makan ice cream bbyk k..ironi sungguh..;P

Kisah Roti & Goodbye!

Heart feel so sad :

Why 1st April have to come? Urghhh..Now you gonna be far2 away again..Eeeee..TAK SUKA! How I hate to say GOODBYE! - Btw, cam tak related je entry's title with the isi perut kan..heee~

This time of your vacation, I think it was the most 'kerap' time you came to see me even sekejap2..how efforts had you done just to meet up your dear friends. Terharu plus this going to make me miss you the most!
You gonna leave this bumi M'sia less than 24 hours..ETA 10pm...Huwaaaa....;((  sob..sob..
As yesterday someone made some sort of poem for you after he saw your car infront of the office..Senget punye Boss..this what you get when you are talking to Technical Manager...I siap printscreen for you to read sendiri..Sgt lawak!;P

Hehe ..actually the first two lines came from my quote and he continued it with the other sentences. Random gila...heheh~ Ok2 sambung sedih balik..T_T...
Sorry tak join your suprise farewell gathering but I dah made up to you yesterday kan..Hope you like it dear!

To my dearest best friend forever..Thanks sebab slalu BBM dgn saya sampai lebam..thanks sbb buat saya happy..thanks sebab datang jumpa saya..Tenkiu awak..kita dah takde janji2 plastik kan..;P but ada satu janji lagi saya belum tunaikan..MASAK tuk awak! Tak sempat......Next around kay...I practise buat "Empanadas" tuk awak..Malaysian version ;P (tak sekejam nk bagi karipap kat awak la kan...hehehe)

I know your flights gonna be more than 24 hours, you can get enough sleep after spending fulltime jadi Senator Uganda kat sini jumpa rakyat jelata..;) You are so tired but it is worth it right and you truly happy.
Just take care of yourself k.Takmo skip makan, skip solat..and if you need me, you know how to find me kan..Keep in touch dear..

Dengan ini, saya nak buat pen'declaration'an.."Kita kawan baik sampai mati k!"..Takmo ilang2 tau..I tak pakai Iphone4 nk guna Papago nk menGPRSkan you..^_^
Nah your fav song....

Till then..kita berYM nnt kay...

p/s: dah gaya cam surat lak..there we go my another 'A'..;(