Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Being Me

Heart felt :

At times, I did get some remarks randomly of people wishing to be ME!
- pe kes? I ni dah la tak cukup tinggi, got rabbit teeth, flawless jauh sekali, magneto to 'peliksm' people. Byk drama ni. Nak ke? -_-

"Seronok kan jadi kak Enny, ramai orang suka, ramai orang sayang" - a sister
"Sometimes I envy dgn you, pegi mana pun ada je orang tegur you, mana pun ada orang kenal, you brought your positive vibes everywhere" - a GF
"I wish he can be at least 20% of you pun dah cukup baik" - a Boss
"Uih you ni macam MAGNET!" -a BF

Be careful of what you are wishing for dear.
Yes, you might see I got 'Engaged' and got an Award for work for this first quarter...senang cerita macam byk all the good things happening to me. Alhamdullilah, I am grateful to HIM for those 'gift'...
what people might not realize, I also have my own bitter sweet time, upside down, the beautiful lies the ugly truth which people barely see with their naked eyes. Looks can be so deceiving =)
How could I share my sadness, disappointment, frustration, sickness to the people who need my strength the most? Saat I feel lost in decision making, out of track in finding alternative, mental block accessing my neurons, numb towards my own feelings...
I do feel the pain in my ass.
I do fall sick.
I do out of control.
I do have uncertainty.
I do cried through the night.
Only things I can do is remain calm...bertenang2..tarik nafas dalam2..istighfar! Bertabah la wahai hati. MasyaAllah. (Sometimes goyang jugak, angin ribut taufan ...but certain people je yg akan rs tempias nya...hee...sorry darlings)
I hold hundreds of secret, hopes and dreams; stored in my brains partition...sampai satu tahap kena defrag susun2 balik all the files... then I'll be stable again and ready to receive more input without hesitation.
If you guys got to know this directly from me, means I'm fond to you.

I do believe everyone have their own bibliography behind on what they are today. What I've been through all this while make me what I am today. So do you. It just matter the different of our chronology in life.

You are beautiful as you are.
Hold this...'No Pain, No Gain'....

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