Monday, February 27, 2012

Senyum Dalam Terpaksa

Heart mumbling :

Which is true so much. Its been few days, I didn't write anything as I xnak this entry berbaur emo semata. Until a friend of mine said to me "It's OK Enny for you to be mad, or sad. It's normal. You don't have to be such a 'white scorpion here". Well said means you know me that well. Thanks dear.

Facts, when you feel down in the deep shits of feeling, just go back to your family. There is the calmer place you can be. Get nearer to HIM, it more soothing your heart than whining, emotionally fighting with your super negative feelings....You don't have to. I just wanna cry...feel like it. Fine air mata xnak kluar pulak. Maybe dah been wasted last 2 days ago. He might be have my heart, but my soul belongs to my 'pillars', which these people will just appear when I need them the most, the moment I feel where I get my strength to compose myself up again.

Just tell me what is this feeling? You eat, you can't feel the taste. You talk to people, you can't feel the warmth. You watch some stupid funny movie, you can't even laugh. That were what I felt for the past few days. I want to be mad but I have no real reason to be mad at all. Ends its killing me inside. Sad but thats the ugly truth. I can be such a faithful person but You will be a priority to me, only if I am to you.It is that hard? I don't ask for bulan bintang satelite skalipun, just a pinch of your concern my dear. MIA is not the answer that I wanna hear and bare for the time being.

To be honest , I HATE GIVING UP.

Btw, thanks to my dearest friend who being with me last Saturday. I know you guys tried hard to make me feel good. Yet, at the end of the day you still seeing the drop of my tears, even how hard I tried to hide it. To En.Pilot & Hockey boy thanks for being on the phone with me and distracted me with the other things. Really much appreciating it. To my En. Pilot, I know you are so afraid I'll be heartbroken again. Its ok. Trust me, I'll be fine within the days. See? I'm smiling right ^_^

Siblings yang xpernah penat make me smile .

What I can do is just wait. The matter will rise soon or later. Pray hard. ( Positive sgt you ni Cik Enny...have to...been forced to)..or else what I can do?

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